If Only

If only you knew the effect you had on me,                                                                                  You’d know why I stand still as I see you approach.                                                                     If only you knew the power of your one look,                                                                                 You’d know why you never find my gaze.                                                                                         If only you knew the essence of your one syllable,                                                                         You would know why it takes me the time it does to speak.                                                         If only you knew the strength of your touch,                                                                                   You’d know why I dodge you through the hallways.

As I sit here, seeing you with her,                                                                                                       I will myself to look away.                                                                                                                   But I know I can’t,                                                                                                                                 Because I never see you as happy as you are when you’re with her.

It hurts to think of the fact that you will never be mine.                                                             It hurts to know I will never be in your embrace.                                                                           But what hurts the most is that you have shared with her,                                                           Things I could have never faced.

Do I know the real you,                                                                                                                         Or just the parts that you let the world see?                                                                                     Do I know what your feelings are,                                                                                                     Or just the ones that you openly display..

Do you know the real me?                                                                                                                   Or just the part everyone else seems to regard.                                                                               Do you know how I truly feel,                                                                                                             Or am I that great at acting?

As I walk out of there, accepting reality                                                                                           I will never know that you did look up to see,                                                                                 The retreating figure of what could have been.

If only…

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Dream

Dreams are things we get in the night when we go to sleep. Sometimes these are really creative and exciting and sometimes they scare the life out of us because they seem so real. Sometimes when the intensity of it increases so much, it turns into a nightmare.

Our day is guided by these very dreams we experience . A good dream gives you a good start for the day and keeps you motivated throughout. A dreamless sleep is comfortable and cushy, leaving you awake and happy but only for a short term whereas a nightmare keeps you agitated the whole day, rendering you restless…

These descriptions of our one-time dreams actually apply to our life-long goals and aspirations as well. We all have that one dream, which we believe will make us feel that       ‘ Yes, I have made it.’ It is that one phrase that keeps us inspired to work hard with determination and perseverance.

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. There will be many realists who will look down upon your dreams and say you expect too much. Don’t listen to them. They think too small. Appreciate the fact that your brain has enough space to dream big as well as plan your process towards achieving it. You have to dream at first to achieve your dreams.

While crossing a road with the green light on and no zebra-crossing, you have to be confidant and rely on yourself that you would get to the other side. You can’t let your legs falter even for a minute because if they do, then well… you’re dead..

Our life is exactly like these roads with cars that will never stop. These hurdles will keep coming at you and with full speed, you need to focus your attention on one thing, and that is to get to the other side of the road. There is no option to give up mid-way because life will keep moving on. Time stops for no one. YOUR DREAMS won’t stop for you as well.

If you don’t build your dreams, someone will hire you to build theirs, is something Tony Gaskins has rightly said. Never ever give up hope. Because it is this hope that things will be better is what should and will drive you.

A life without a dream, is a life wasted. Those who never dream, will never truly know what contentment feels like, what achievement feels like. They will always feel this void. The feeling of something missing. I hope there is no one out there like that, because believe me when I say this if the only reason why you don’t want to dream or have the courage to dream is because of no support, remember that I believe in you. I know you will achieve what you want to and will thrive in all facets in life. I believe in you.

For a minute, just stop and be grateful for all the things you have, some of these things are that other people can only dream of . Being thankful for what you have is great but settling for less and not trying to achieve what you deserve is wrong. Never let go of your dreams. Follow them, they know the way. It will fill your heart with joy and happiness and you will truly feel at home. Dreamland isn’t a just a fictional place anymore. It is reality. And you know what’s the best part? Everyone gets to have their own…

 

Chivalry

Whatever happened to Chivalry? To opening the door, pulling out a chair, offering to lift bags, respectfully addressing ladies… Where have those days gone when men used to feel honored to even be in the presence of a female?

No matter where you go nowadays, all the men that you find around you don’t even have an ounce of chivalry left in them. Do you think its because they assume that the level and intensity with which women empowerment movements are rising nowadays, that women don’t feel like being treated like women anymore? Sure, women have become more independent now and don’t need a man to complete their life, but does that really serve as an excuse for men to act as if chivalry has gone because women don’t want it anymore?

I have seen so myself. Girls carrying heavy tables and chairs across rooms, with men just strolling past them, shutting the door behind them, even when their is a lady walking behind them. While I was walking on the street once, I saw my neighbor picking up the trash that had fallen on the ground due to her dog, and her son passed by to go out to play with his friends without glancing or offering to help his mother.

Ladies nowadays are associated with words like ‘bitch’ ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ for no reason at all or because of one dress they wear or one mistake they make. But being a ‘playboy’ ‘man-whore’and things of this sort, make boys “cool” Why is it so that we aren’t given the respect we once used to be showered with?

Paying the check in a restaurant, lifting their own shopping bags, opening up their own car doors are things girls are completely capable of doing yet when a man offers, its not called showing of their manhood or showing their superiority or dominance, at least not to the girl. Its called courtesy. Its called chivalry.

Being a gentleman makes you more appealing than showing of your money or your style. If you have the etiquette, any women would fall for you. That’s the thing that men don’t get. Its been turned into memes nowadays, about how irritating and intolerable ladies are, especially in India. These jokes may be funny, but you realize why they have been made in the first place? Its not to show that the lady is the boss, or how nagging she is. It is to show that when you are in a relationship with a girl, its a 50-50 contribution. Its not that once you’ve got the girl, you can take a backseat. You have to put in the same effort and treat her everyday as though you still have to impress her. There may be days when she doesn’t feel like give 50, maybe 30. That’s when you give 70 and the same goes if the situation is reversed.

So take your girl on a romantic dinner, bring groceries without your wife having to ask, make lunch when your wife doesn’t feel like, hold your girlfriend close even in public places. These acts don’t make you less of a man.. It makes you a gentleman.

Unrequited Love

What if he is your Prince Charming but you are not his Cinderella?

Your eyes speak a thousand words but they so often go unheard. Your ears catch hold of innumerable secrets but they remain locked up in your hearts. Your lips wish to express a million words, but when the opportunity arrives, not even syllable agrees to leave. Well, that’s the thing about unrequited love. It is destined to face heartbreak.

In the book Symposium, written by Plato, he talks about how two human beings used to be a part as one whole, consisting of two heads, four legs and and fours arms. Due to some tragic encounter with The Greek God Zeus, they were split apart. And since then on, all wholes are born as separate individuals, always  in search for their ‘better half’ , without who they feel incomplete… It’s very rare… To find that kind of love. The kind that completes you.

But what about those one sided lovers…who just observe from a distance, who are happy seeing their beloved happy with some else as long as they are happy. What would you call this? Is true love letting go or fighting for it? Is true love not considered love if you don’t have the courage to ask for it?

The good ones still go after the bad ones. Do you know why? We accept the love we think we deserve.I have been one to keep my feelings to myself too and I know how it feels… The feeling might kill you sometimes but you know what keeps me going? There was this quote I once read’Don’t worry about her.. I am saving her for someone special’ and then it just clicked. Though you can never get over your feelings for that someone , who says you have to stop loving yourself in the process. The journey to self-discovery is such a beautiful one. Don’t run after love, and it will come after you. Patience is always rewarded. So keep going my friend, appreciate the simple things in life and in the end, they end up being the big things….

Wanderlust

The crunch of the leaves as you take your feet forward one at a time, the wind that pushes your hair out of your face, the warm light that falls on your face, the discovery of places you have never been to and might never go to again..

I remember going to this Tibetan monastery I had just stopped at, on the outskirts of Kodagu district of Karnataka. I am ardent photographer and love taking my camera everywhere I go. But when I entered this monastery, I was rendered speechless. I forgot all about taking pictures(only for a while). There were three magnificent statues of Buddha right in front of me, decked in different colors from top to bottom. Right in front of them were low-leveled tables , which were used by the monks for eating, studying and things of that sort. Around me , people were chatting, clicking selfies, strolling about. Some were there , just sitting in the corner taking in everything around them. This diversity of people found in a spot like this is what is the difference between a tourist and an explorer.

Travelling is like meditation. It takes you to a whole new level. All you can hear is the thumping of your heart, and your scattered thoughts coming together, in one form.The serenity and calmness that you get from travelling place to place is found in no other activity.

Its not necessary that you travel to places like Paris, Italy or Iceland to get such an euphoric feeling. This joy can also be experienced by going for a stroll in your neighborhood, walking that one extra mile which you never generally do or going to the monuments found in your area with a new perspective of going to those spots which the travel guide doesn’t take you to. You don’t have to be rich to travel, all you need is the desire, the want to learn something new. The ability to see whatever you see in the most vulnerable way that you can imagine. To turn what you are seeing, into a moment to cherish.

Pictures found on Tumblr and Pinterest can allure you to embark on an adventure, but it all comes down to you when you actually go to that place. You need to shut yourself from the world and adept to get lost in the beauty and transcendence that nature has to offer. And if you can do so, then hats-off, because not everyone has that ability. Keep that spark alive in you and never let it extinguish, even till the day you are 90, because it is the body that grows old, not the soul..

Find a beautiful place and get lost…

The Perks Of Being An Introvert

Have you ever felt held back because of never finding your voice to speak in new environments? Have you ever felt that you aren’t the best version of yourself because you never had the courage to accept all the opportunities presented to you?

Being an introvert in the new world is way more difficult one than being one in the olden ages. At that time, adults had the excuse of their financial situation for not taking up life-changing opportunities. But today… even people who live in slums are thriving in fields no one expected them to. If you aren’t succeeding, its because you never asked for the opportunities.  Being an introvert nowadays is looked down upon. They are considered rude, arrogant,ignorant,moody and a lot more. The working of an introvert’s mind can only be understood by another introvert. We wish for many things but don’t ask for it. We don’t want to go to parties but would love to be invited to one. We don’t want to hangout with our friends as often as one would expect but wold love some   quality time once in a while.  We aren’t those modern age girls who would have the courage to go and walk up to their crush and talk to them. Instead, we are those type who might have never even spoken to them but know everything about them because we are excellent observers.

The funny thing about introverts is that once you are congenial, they are the best company you will ever have. Its like a secret they are comfortable to share with only you, the secret being their personality. There is a misconception that once we are comfortable with people, we become a true extrovert. But I don’t think that is true. We definitely do open up with time but we do need breaks in between from all the social interactions. We are always ready for me time. We prefer our peace of mind million times more than a happening social life.

You might ask “If Introverts have so many requirements, what are the perks of being one then?” Well, we have a good set of merits as well.

You can never expect us to be fake, because we hate small talk. We respect and care for genuine people. Since we are great observers, we know more about a person, that when we actually talk to them, we already know a lot about them, which tends to put us as well as them at ease, because then we wouldn’t have to waste time with small talk. We are great listeners, hence, we make out to be the best friend anyone could ask for. Sometimes not talking gets you out of trouble than, notorious kids, who have a tendency to defend themselves and hence land themselves into more trouble. Introverts have an aura of mystery around them which draws people in. They make others around them inquisitive about how they are as a person.

Overthinking is our favorite pass time and solitude is where we find the time to curate our thoughts, to make sense of our past, present and future. We are big on the ‘what if’ scenarios. Give us one situation, and we can give you a hundred of outcomes that could have played out in our favor and against it as well.

That’s the thing about introverts, they are an embodiment of serenity and mayhem all wrapped in one. They are a conglomeration of a true human being…

 

Me Time

In today’s fast paced world, it’s very important that we don’t forget who we are and get carried away with all the luxury and comforts life has to offer.

Relaxing, and having some down time is very important for everyone. Anne Lamott has rightly said ‘Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for sometime..including you.’ Winding down can include doing nothing and everything at the same time.

Be it reading a book, having a nice hot cup of tea, going out for a stroll in your neighborhood, watching a movie, having a series marathon and whatever feels right. Till the time it is making you happy, it doesn’t matter if its something completely out of the ordinary.

It is crucial to enjoy your life with these simple pleasures. We get so caught up with our work, family, friends, it tends to exhaust you to some point.

Even if you want to have some time to collect your thoughts, staring at falling rain,sitting out in the sun, writing in your journal are some of the things you can do. You can even try cooking. It provides you with tranquility as well as a sense of accomplishment when your end product is something delicious you can gorge on.

People love travelling in groups or with their friends, but you know something? Travelling alone has an aura to it that is so beautiful. The knowledge you gain, people you meet are all parts of self-development. It allows you to meet another side of you. That’s why you see many people packing up their bags and going off on expeditions.

Another way to feel in control of your life is to make your surroundings as positive as you can. Fill your life with people who bring out the best in you, fill your house with candles and quotes and blankets and pajamas and everything that helps you feel cozy and comfortable at all times.

Building yourself a life from which you rarely require time for yourself is wonderful but you still need it. Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be.

 

The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side

The grass is always green on the other side.

How many of us use this quote but can’t help but live a life in comparison to every one around us. That girl in your school who looks the prettiest, the grades of the topper in your class, the variety of things your friends have because their parents are rich, the kid that every teacher loves, your boss’ favorite employ, your neighbor’s new posh car….

The list is endless. Whenever you let your mind be free or empty, such thoughts start creeping in. Never being good enough, others thriving in their life, while you still seem to be stuck in the same place, are the worst things that a person can feel\or think.

Comparison is the biggest evil in anyone’s life. It prevents you from focusing on your life and concentrating more on others, tracking their every move like paparazzi. This is such an unhealthy habit. It not only makes you lose confidence in yourself but also, when these thoughts starts crowding your mind, it leaves no space for you to take up any useful or creative work.

Relationships, Friendships, Family and all of your loved ones become a victim to such a pointless argument. No one individual is the same. The main reason why one faces problems like jealousy, envy, resentment, spite is all because of self doubt. The minute something goes wrong in your life or you fail, you see that others are winning and you think’ Why is everything good happening in their life?’ But the reality is, how do you know? You can’t compare your behind the scenes to everyone else’s high reel. We are seeing that person succeed and reach that place and we feel insecure, but we have no idea about all the hard work they might have put in. The hard work that we should be willing to put in.

If Einstein had compared himself to Newton, who was one of the biggest scientist at his time and still is, would we have the theory of relativity today? He had the courage to go against whatever Newton had proposed. It was the total opposite of his theory!

Vera Wang worked under many fashion icons in her times, and did so all the way till she was 40. And today she is one of the biggest fashion designers in the world. When asked about her experience, she said’ Don’t be afraid to take the time to learn. Its good to work for other people. I worked for others for 20 years. I was paid to learn.’ When the thought of making a design of her own came to her mind, she could have easily said’ Who am I comparing myself to, they are great designers, I won’t stand a chance’ Yet she took the chance.

The series Vampire Diaries started about the same time Twilight had released, which had caused a frenzy all across the world. The creators could have might as well said’ No, we should not use this time to launch the show, otherwise we would be criticized and compared and called copycats.’We would have never known the sexy Damon, the compassionate Elena, and the caring Stefan. Instead they use it as their launch pad and made good use of the craze, and today the show is about to embark on its eight and final season.

Let these success stories be an example for you. All these people around the world could have just sat back and have had pity on their own life. They could have been jealous of their contemporaries. Yet they found the opening in their bad times, worked hard and set an example that they can become the greener side.

A flower never compares itself to another flower. It just blooms in light that the sun equally offers to everyone. Set a goal to overcome that hurdle, make your side greener. If everyone works towards this, the earth will be such a beautiful place, with not even a single dry patch left anywhere…

Friends With Benefits

Well, this post is not about the meaning of the phrase commonly know. It’s about being those friends who wear a mask in front of you. It’s about those friends who let you set high expectations on receiving love and kinship. It’s about those friends who are the reason for many people losing faith in humanity and can’t trust anyone anymore…

Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.. The feeling of being used is something everyone goes through at some point of their life, though everyone’s experiences aren’t the same.

You know when you are ready to do so much for someone , or when you are so willing to be a helpful and kind person. So willing to be that one person who everyone can go to when they have problems and advice. But don’t you need somebody as well. They say that when giving, you shouldn’t expect anything in return… But is it right to drain everything out of a person? Give a part of you to everyone you meet without getting anything to replace what you lost? Won’t that then at some point leave you…. Empty….?

I have always been at a loss in that field. I have always had friends who used me for their materials needs and rarely wanted me for anything else. I have had people only talk to me when necessary. I have been ignored when their task and necessities have been fulfilled. I don’t think I know what is is to really have a friend to rely on because…… I don’t know if it I will be worth it.

When you get a fire going, you have to keep adding logs or paper to keep it burning, but if it’s only one person who does the work while the others just take in the warmth and light without doing anything, after while it will extinguish. After all how much can one person do? You are only human. You spend so much of your energy in a relationship, but if the effort isn’t both ways, it fades after sometime.

I am fearless, because I have been afraid. I am strong because I have been weak, I am wise because I have been fooled. It’s been a slow press but it’s small steps that lead to one big beautiful journey. You will get their. You will tumble, You will scratch yourself. There will be tears and there will be frustration.  There is only one thing to keep in mind . Keep going

Don’t be a friend with benefits to anyone. Don’t be a friend filled with innocence. Don’t be a friend who is naive. Don’t be a friend who can’t stand up for her self.

Be a friend with kindness but a strong will. Be a friend who loves but not that it consumes her. Be a friend who cares but not with all within her. Be the best version of you , and if that is possible only by being alone then so be it. Being on your own is better than wrong company. You should not have to rip yourself to keep others whole..

 

Daily Prompt: Argument

via Daily Prompt: Argument

Arguments have a way of always leading up to bad consequences. The reason why people shout when they are arguing is because, even though they are in the same room, but their hearts are miles apart.. They feel like the other person can’t hear to them, can’t understand them.

But what we don’t realize is, arguments are due to disagreeing on a certain issue.It doesn’t mean you let this issue affect you for the rest of your life. It doesn’t mean you put your life on hold. It definitely doesn’t mean you say things about the person which you know are not true. You know that person’s flaws because they opened up to you in a moment of weakness. They trusted you enough to reveal the darkest parts of them. These parts are what prevented them from feeling like a good person for a long time till they met you. But everyone has them. Its not something you can use against them in a moment when you don’t know whats going to happen. Its not right.

More than arguing, sitting down and having a relaxed and sorted conversation leads to more solutions. It gives you the chance to put forth your thoughts, so that the other can understand, in a stable state of mind why you think so. It gives you the opportunities to see if your ideology has loopholes as well.

But we are humans. We tend to slip, without even realizing it and that’s okay. But we have the power over the matter of where it goes from after the fight is over. Whether we make up or let our ego get in the way is our choice..

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. So never go to bed with aggressive thoughts in your head. Our life is too short to waste even a moment.