If Only

If only you knew the effect you had on me,                                                                                  You’d know why I stand still as I see you approach.                                                                     If only you knew the power of your one look,                                                                                 You’d know why you never find my gaze.                                                                                         If only you knew the essence of your one syllable,                                                                         You would know why it takes me the time it does to speak.                                                         If only you knew the strength of your touch,                                                                                   You’d know why I dodge you through the hallways.

As I sit here, seeing you with her,                                                                                                       I will myself to look away.                                                                                                                   But I know I can’t,                                                                                                                                 Because I never see you as happy as you are when you’re with her.

It hurts to think of the fact that you will never be mine.                                                             It hurts to know I will never be in your embrace.                                                                           But what hurts the most is that you have shared with her,                                                           Things I could have never faced.

Do I know the real you,                                                                                                                         Or just the parts that you let the world see?                                                                                     Do I know what your feelings are,                                                                                                     Or just the ones that you openly display..

Do you know the real me?                                                                                                                   Or just the part everyone else seems to regard.                                                                               Do you know how I truly feel,                                                                                                             Or am I that great at acting?

As I walk out of there, accepting reality                                                                                           I will never know that you did look up to see,                                                                                 The retreating figure of what could have been.

If only…


11 thoughts on “If Only

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