Still Believe In Love

I lie here in this dark room

The warmth of the bed staying longer than he did

He walked away before I could even say

How much he meant, how much he didn’t 

The night at the carnival was beautiful

Lights hiding the darkness that we were

The roller coaster went up 

But all we did was fall down 

I learnt of his deeds or the lack of them
He questioned my every move 

Even when it was all for him

Why didn’t he see? 

That he was all for me

But when it came to who I was to him, 

The silence filled the void he left behind

I loved his words, his smile, the way he felt like paradise

He hated my guts, my will, the way I earned more than him

One day it all changed, or I guess it was before then

My belief and innocence kept us strong 

But they were the very things that were so wrong

He was toxic, I was bliss, he was a drug while I was his medicine

He told me what I was since day one

I twisted his words, till I was done

With his actions, with his ego

I tried to hold on, till I couldn’t anymore

I now get up and look next to me

To see a body filled with life as much as a stone

The light had left, a soul had gone

To a place mentioned in not many songs

They enter to take him away,

They look at me feeling sorry

They think it was the overdose that killed him 

But I know it was the under dose, the emptiness that really did

I walk out, not knowing where to go

I still believe there is something better out there

Believe there is something good

Even with all I have gone through

I still believe in love

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Here’s To Those Who Dream

To those who have the power to carry a vision. For those who have the will to chase after what they believe in. To those who are not scared of the outcome but are excited for the process. Here’s to those who want to fail, who want to be humiliated, who want to be broken, who want to fall only to stand up again.

These people are the ones you should be scared of, because they bring creativity in mundane things. They think differently and are always brimming with idea.

They are awake till the wee hours of the night. They find beauty in the silence of that time. It’s for poets, photographers, writers, painters, artists…

Dreamers are fools they say. Magic is fantasy they say. Then how is it that Philippe Petit walked on a thin line of wire between the twin towers? How did Adbul Kalam become the 11th President on India when he just hailed from a small village of Rameswaram?

In this world everyone wants magical solutions to all their problems yet they refuse to believe in magic…

Dream on… Believe… They say sky is the limit, then how are there footprints on the moon….
Here’s to those who dream!

Being Good Enough

Sometimes, well most of the times, I find myself comparing myself to my friends, my siblings and well most of the people around me. I can feel myself struggling to do something worthwhile because I feel if I don’t wouldn’t be remembered. I won’t be able to leave a mark on this world.

It’s just like how Blair feels when she is with Serena. A Darth Vadar next to a Sunshine Barbie. Your try so hard. You do all things right. You try to grasp all the opportunities that are in front of you. You push through that shyness and fear thinking it will all be worth it. But then all that courage, all that confidence goes down the drain when you don’t achieve it or when someone does much better than you. How do you learn to live with yourself knowing no matter what you do, someone will always do better or be better…

I have had to live with this all my life, being the younger sibling, being the inferior best friend. I realized even by changing countries, this fact is never going to stop itself from latching on to my shoulders. You may call me insecure or say learn to love yourself. But this will help me for those five minutes. But what happens when you switch of that motivational video and turn the lights and lie down after a tiresome day. Those thoughts come back don’t they?

Just by someone saying you shouldn’t compare or that you should love yourself it doesn’t just magically come into you. You learn through experiences and acceptance. You learn through focusing on yourself. If you ever feel something or even a bit of what I have mentioned, it is time you start talking or stop associating with those people who try so hard, whether knowingly or unknowingly to put you down. You are the master of your own fate and all the things that happen to you. Trust me I learnt it the hard way.

If you care for those people despite of them making you feel this way, talk to them, they might be able to help you out in someway or another. Or if not, break your ties with them. Its the only way for you to remain sane. Its the only way for that relationship to not turn toxic or unhealthy.

I know now that all those insecurities haven’t gone yet, but I am working my way towards it. I am working towards where I want to be. Those people are still there. They are still outshining me. But there is only one difference now. They might be the best, but I am working towards making myself better than what I was yesterday and to me that is the best.

An Awakening

When we have to make fire in darkest times, what do we do? We rub two stones together. We rub them so hard that sparks ignite and a fire flares up to life. And what do we do to keep the fire going? We throw sticks and stones into it. But all it does is rise higher and higher and emerge out as strong as ever! 

Be like that fire!