Song Of My Life.

I have seen the darkest part of me.

I have dealt with the things no one can see.

 

I have wars going on inside,

In me permanently resides,

Demons who need refuge,

Goodness that has no place,

Honesty which cannot hide,

Loyalty which I try to subside,

But it comes out,

And I doubt,

It will ever stop.

 

Darkness shines the brightest,

Light has never seen day.

Welcome to the song of my life,

It isn’t a fairytale.

 

Dig in deeper, you start to see,

Sights so ugly, Thoughts you will never feel,

Emotions so raw,

And all of my flaws.

 

I am reservoir of hate and love,

Hating myself, but trying to discover love.

Contrasts so beautifully knotted,

It might look like I have everything sorted.

 

The day may go by fine.

I even smile once in a while.

But inside me are strings,

Strings that run the puppet show,

The master being the beast I can’t find.

 

I’m scared to look,

For I may find,

Parts of me, I don’t know,

Parts of me I will never show,

Even to myself.

 

But you will never really know,

That you eventually reap what you sow,

A lesson I learnt not long ago,

But only now do I feel the blow,

 

I’ve been an impediment for far too long,

So I’m going to end this with a song.

A song of my tale,

A song of why I failed.

I wish I didn’t have to bail,

I guess we all do.

 

Goodbye, I say.

As I pick myself up.

Dawn is approaching,

This will have to continue later tonight,

Come on world, I’m ready for another fight!

.

Mom.

She’s been your whole life,

You’ve been just a part of hers.

Her love is undivided,

Yours is has to be.

 

Moms are a ray of hope,

In a sea of darkness.

Moms are sunshine

On a rainy day.

Moms are light,

That bring out your shadows.

Moms are light,

That fight off the same shadows.

 

They truly are there,

In sickness and health.

They are always by your side,

No matter how you feel, no matter how you felt.

 

What you eat, what you drink,

They know every thing.

You likes, your choice,

Even what you think.

 

No matter how old you get,

No matter where you reach in life,

Whenever you feel down,

Or nothing seems to be going right,

There is only one person you can really go to,

And that is your mom.

 

 

 

 

A Genuine F(r)iend

They latch on to you,

Like moths.

They feed off of you,

Like predators.

 

Fake people are contagious,

They fill you with poison.

Extract the life out of you,

And then charge you with treason.

 

They act like innocent souls,

Oh! They could never hurt a bug.

But when it comes down to stepping over others ,towards success,

They do it without batting an eyelash.

 

Using people,

Is an every day task.

They roam around,

Always with a mask.

 

No remorse, no regret.

Perfidy, treachery,

In their blood, I bet.

 

Why do heartless people crush souls of those,

Who always see the good in them,

Don’t they realize, if they hadn’t done this,

We would have took on the world for them.

 

Friends hurt you the most,

Impair your functioning,

Mar your thinking,

Unbeknownst to them, what damage they have done,

Or knowingly inflicting pain.

 

Sadism in nature,

Schadenfreude in life.

People like these are barbaric creatures,

They can only stab you with a knife.

 

Karma is a bitch,

I can guarantee that,

Don’t even switch,

From a personality like that.

Be yourself.

 

Everyone pays

For the sins they committed.

Everyone pays,

For the lives they played with.

Trust me when I say this,

People like this,

Won’t even catch a glimpse of happiness.

Causing torment to someone,

Will never given them ecstasy.

 

And if it does,

Well, then they are living in their fantasy..

 

 

 

One Player.

It isn’t anyone’s fault,

That they don’t fall in love,

With the person who loves them the most.
It isn’t anyone’s fault,

They don’t reciprocate feelings,

Feelings so deep,

To break the biggest of icebergs,

With the warmth of your soul.
It isn’t anyone’s fault,

They love someone,

Who seems unworthy of their love,

And you love them,

Having only them residing in your heart.
It isn’t anyone’s fault,

That they capture your heart,

And crush it into pieces,

That they flow in your blood,

But restrict it at the same time.
It isn’t anyone’s fault,

They take your breath away,

But give you life after all.

That they give you sleepless nights,

But make you dream more than usual.
It isn’t anyone’s fault

 They don’t notice,

What is clearly visible to everyone else,

That they don’t see,

How you feel,

When you have to conceal,

More than you really feel.
It’s not anyone’s fault

You don’t love me,

Like I do,

You don’t see me,

Like I do,

You don’t want me, 

Like I do.
It isn’t  anyone’s fault,

That love is the only game,

Which allows the rules to include,

Only one player to play..

I Wish It Was Me.

I see you get medals

And hear you garner applause

My achievements, so less

I wish it was me.

 

I see you happy,

Embracing your mother,

You don’t see my melancholy,

Of the void mine left.

You walk off with yours,

But I wish it was me.

 

You got promoted,

You gave out chocolates that day,

You can now buy that car you were worried about,

I still use the bus.

You celebrate, I integrate

My thoughts with the sadness of how

I wish it was me.

 

You found love,

You are getting married,

You are at the peak of your life.

You rejoice, I make a choice,

I don’t wish to be you.

 

My life, my goals, My belief,

Are here to provide me with relief

From my stresses, my burdens, my responsibilities,

I know realize my capability.

 

I grow through the sand I was buried in,

I work towards the spotlight,

Out of the darkness I was pushed into.

I’m almost there, No one can dare,

To stop me now.

 

I have reached, I’m successful,

But grateful.

For success isn’t this sweet,

Without the bitterness of failure.

 

I am on top of the world,

With me feet on the ground,

This is the place to be.

 

You look, with envy in your eyes,

Thinking of what you had left behind

Using all your lies,

To get what you didn’t deserve.

 

Now you fall apart,

You cannot dart,

Away from the mess you set so immaculately,

Step out of the dirt, your true face revealed,

You look at me, and now I bet,

You wish you were me!

 

 

 

I Still Dance.

The door to my room locked

The stars outside shining.

The music plays

As I sway to the day’s happenings.

 

We talked after ages today,

You smiled when you saw me,

After ages today.

I couldn’t stop laughing,

After ages today…

 

I dance and sway to the beat

As the night turns into day,

I get to meet you again today

Hopefully, it’ll be great.

 

I entered the room,

And you’re there standing next to the window.

You glanced my way,

But swept your gaze away.

 

I stayed there for a while,

Hoping to catch your eye.

But not once, in those five hours,

Not once,

Did you look my way.

 

I went home that day,

Consoling myself that this was known,

That this was a prerequisite today.

The minute I stepped in I should have been prepared.

 

But this heart of mine,

Like all of ours,

Works on hopes and dreams.

 

It ignores the science behind Alzheimer’s

It ignores the fleeting memory,

It ignores the truth,

That your presence

In their life,

That the past you shared together,

That the life you had,

The midnight dances,

The ice-cream dates,

The beach strolls,

Breakfast in bed,

The trunk of memories

Gone forever…

 

Still tomorrow,

I will try,

And try again.

Because what happened yesterday,

May happen once again.

 

So I still dance,

To the beat of your heart,

As we did in the good old days,

Your song, our song,

Still afresh in my mind,

Lost in yours, but is still there somewhere

In the rhythm of your soul

So I dance.

Rest Is History

It is 2AM

I have no one to blame

That I feel the same

About the flame

Inside my heart

Tearing me apart,

Each and every part

Of me that loved you.

 

Monday Blues,

You gave me the clues

I dismissed it as one of those days.

You withdrew

Thought we were taboo,

I didn’t care about what anyone said.

 

I saw you with her

It was a blur

I thought, “it’s not possible”

You saw, you didn’t care

Came home that night, with no despair

From then on, it was unstoppable.

Image result for leo christopher love quotes

 

The fall to rock bottom

Was fast, like a hunter catching its prey.

 

We drifted, it was inexorable

The melancholy was present

But you were absent.

My life was headed for doom

I didn’t want to escape this gloom.

 

I had no where to go,

I didn’t have any place to show,

Love to me

To provide a home to me.

 

Then that night, I decided,

And left.

 

Drove for miles,

And the rest is history.

 

Its 2AM,

I look back,

We had no chemistry,

We had no love,

You were a shadow to my darkness

And I a light to your plight.

 

We lead lives now,

which are different in many ways.

We will just end up as those stories

That parents warn their kids about,

They know them too well,

But even for them,

Rest is history…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are All Alone.

In this universe

We are alone.

Parallel universes may exist,

Other galaxies may consist,

Of life.

But we still are alone.

What the hell,

We are alone on this planet itself

We are born and we die

And we come and go with nothing.

Being your own self is a task

We go about our day putting on a mask

For people we may never meet again

For people who are doing the same.
Real is a myth,

Honesty a sin.
We are living in a reversed world,

Where everyday is Opposite Day.
We smile to hide our sadness,

We interact to fool ourselves,

That we aren’t lonely,

We joke, when we ourselves haven’t laughed

A real laugh, in ages,

We work without,most of the times

Seeing any purpose in it.
Looking at the bigger picture, 

Was this what we were made to do?

Imagine floating in outer space,

No sound, only silence,

Who would we talk to then? 

Would we have survived?

They say humans thrive on interactions

It gives them satisfaction,

But what is the point,

When it’s all lies.
To tell the truth, this world never stops talking

Why don’t we try?

Discover, recover

Yourself, your life.
We are alone in this universe,

But we do have ourselves.

Life Is Beautiful

The warmth feels so good

The fire crackling so rhythmic 

I look up at the starts

Smiling for this moment
My life has been good so far 

Food every day

Death always been a mere step away

Still alive, still breathing

Ever so grateful
Good thoughts creep in

Negative vibes in my kin

I hope to turn their life around

But they don’t find happiness 

In things I do.
Hurdles are prevalent

Worries irrelevant 

My eyes see a silver lining

Oh my! Look at it shining.
You have all the power

Don’t make your life so sour 

You have the ability to hold on, 

Or let it all shatter.

This road where I lay may be rocky
This cold may sting

I am homeless, go on cringe

I love my life, 

That’s what matters.
Dawn approaches

Fire dies down

The border shines bright

My badge reflects its light

I put on my crown

Without a frown

Another day of battle

Another day of war

Life is beautiful 

Even though death may not be far.

High School Doesn’t Last Forever?

They say high school doesn’t last forever

They say that you will recover.

What happens to you isn’t the end of the world

The labels here, the titles here

Just temporary

Then why does it feel like

You can’t breathe when someone calls you

An introvert, a geek, a nerd

A slut, a whore or a bitch

These are just words,

They aren’t supposed to matter, right?
They say high school doesn’t last forever

Then why do people feel like they can rule over you

That they have some entitlement 

To decide who is important

And who isn’t 

Why can’t girls just talk to girls

Boys to boys

Is it necessary that they are gay?

Why can’t relationships be meaningful

Filled with things to discover

Why can’t innocence gain appreciation

Why is it laughed at?
They say high school doesn’t last forever

Than why is intelligence based on who gets the best marks

And not on who’s a good photographer or dancer?

Is intelligence just about the mind? 
They say high school doesn’t last forever

Why is there a social hierarchy

Have we left the class system behind

Or have we just hidden it with decorated words

Of populars and nobodies 

 Of jocks and queen bees 

Why do they exist!

For amusement or for bemusement 

Of identity, of self.
They say high school doesn’t last forever 

Than why does the comparison kill you each day

Cry at night, smile in the morning

The brave face, just a faceless lie

You drive yourself to death.

Self-discovery takes a backseat,

In the race to come first.
They say high school doesn’t last forever

Then why does experience of a time long before

Haunt nightmares of our present?

Why does  our personality still function

Based on scars drawn by those days
They say high school doesn’t last forever 

For teenager, it’s 4 years of their life

Of their existence

It matters.

It may not last forever, but its impact 

Is something everyone remembers..

It resonates, it instigates

It affects who you are

What you will become 

It’s not something to take lightly
The pain is real

It’s difficult to feel

When all you do

Is trying to keep everything  concealed