I have seen the darkest part of me.
I have dealt with the things no one can see.
I have wars going on inside,
In me permanently resides,
Demons who need refuge,
Goodness that has no place,
Honesty which cannot hide,
Loyalty which I try to subside,
But it comes out,
And I doubt,
It will ever stop.
Darkness shines the brightest,
Light has never seen day.
Welcome to the song of my life,
It isn’t a fairytale.
Dig in deeper, you start to see,
Sights so ugly, Thoughts you will never feel,
Emotions so raw,
And all of my flaws.
I am reservoir of hate and love,
Hating myself, but trying to discover love.
Contrasts so beautifully knotted,
It might look like I have everything sorted.
The day may go by fine.
I even smile once in a while.
But inside me are strings,
Strings that run the puppet show,
The master being the beast I can’t find.
I’m scared to look,
For I may find,
Parts of me, I don’t know,
Parts of me I will never show,
Even to myself.
But you will never really know,
That you eventually reap what you sow,
A lesson I learnt not long ago,
But only now do I feel the blow,
I’ve been an impediment for far too long,
So I’m going to end this with a song.
A song of my tale,
A song of why I failed.
I wish I didn’t have to bail,
I guess we all do.
Goodbye, I say.
As I pick myself up.
Dawn is approaching,
This will have to continue later tonight,
Come on world, I’m ready for another fight!