Dear Future Me

In times of despair,

I want you to think of me.

In times of sadness,

I want you to know.

That you were strong,

Through it all.

That you held on,

For so long.

I want you to know,

No matter how low you think of yourself,

How much you bury yourself under self-doubt.

I know that you have come through obstacles,

With difficulty of course.

You persevered through the darkest of nights,

You still woke up when the day was shrouded in clouds.

You cared too much about what people would say,

And that was your major let down.

But after it all,

When the lights turned off,

And there was silence.

You sat still,

And listened to your thoughts,

You realized that where you are,

What you are,

Is a product of your work and intention,

It was never about people’s reception.

You made mistakes over and over again,

You will still make more.

But dear future me, know this,

You are stronger than you make yourself to be,

Kinder than you perceive,

Loyal than most will ever be

And your will is as courageous,

As there has ever been.

-Your Past Self

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#3-December Tales

Day 9

At the adventure park,

Went on all the rides.

At the end of the night,

On top of the Ferris Wheel,

I commented on the most beautiful view.

You said that’s not true,

Looking at me,

As the wind blew.

 

 

Day 10

You brought me flowers,

I blushed.

I looked into your eyes,

And admitted.

I had indeed developed a crush.

On you, since the day we met.

 

Day 11

Yesterday you left,

Without saying a word

After dropping me home.

This morning, I opened the curtains

To see you standing on the road,

With a small whiteboard.

‘I think I like you too’.

 

Day 12

3 AM

We’re walking on the streets,

Lamp posts still bright.

As dawn came close,

I looked up at you and leaned in.

You did too,

And then sparks flew.

 

#2-December Tales

Day 5

We walked around the city,

Sat under the bridge.

Talked about all the things,

Never mentioned to anyone before.

 

Day 6

We met at the coffee shop you loved.

Wasn’t a date we said.

Just two friends, he said.

The laughter from our table,

The chemistry in the air,

Said otherwise.

 

Day 7

 

We didn’t meet today.

You had plans you said.

Thought about you the whole day.

Till before I went to bed.

11:59 pm-I miss you,

The phone pinged.

As it became 00:00,

I reflected on the best moment I had all day.

 

Day 8

The morning flew by,

Couldn’t concentrate.

Went to the ice-skating rink with friends.

After a while,

I saw you standing on the other side.

With a bright smile as you winked.

Was it destiny, was it fate?

That it was only you that could make me feel this great.

 

#1-December Tales

Day 1

I saw you on the street,

Walking with your thoughts somewhere else.

One look,

And you couldn’t take off your eyes.

 

Day 2

Walking down the same road,

Only this time you stopped.

You returned my handkerchief.

I took it,

Knowing it wasn’t mine.

 

Day 3

I came to that place once again,

Knowing I had no business today.

I saw you sitting on a bench,

Your mind away.

 

Day 4

I sat next to you,

On the very bench, you were yesterday.

I said something about New York City,

You looked up with a sparkle in your eyes.

From then, there was no going back.

I’m Not The Kind Of Girl

I’m not the kind of girl,

Guys fall in love with.

I’m not the kind of girl,

Who can flirt easily,

Or even talk that easily…

 

I’m not the kind of girl,

Who laughs at everything.

I’m not the kind of girl,

Who always says the right thing.

 

I’m not the kind of girl,

Who has a happy ending.

I’m not the kind of girl,

Who can make a guy feel like a king…

 

I’m the one who befriends dark corners,

And shelters tears.

The one who drowns

In the sadness of her own being.

 

I’m sorry for who I am.

I’m sorry for being.

Sometimes I just wish,

I  was just enough.

I just wish,

I was that kind of girl….

 

 

 

The Person You’ll Never Know

I’m different,

Around different people,

This order of behaviour,

May Change.

 

Somedays,

I may talk to you like a long lost friend,

Other days,

I stare at you like we never met.

 

This may cause confusion, and even lead to misunderstandings,

But if you stick with me through it all,

That’s when we will know,

If our relationship was meant to fall,

Or grow.

 

Introvert,

A name tag used by everyone

And anyone.

Its become one of those words

Like anxiety and depression,

Which everybody relates to,

But will never know the real feeling of,

Until those horrifying feelings,

Take over, latch on,

And never let go.

 

There are nights when I cry,

About the lonely circle I create,

There are days when,

The people around me, I really do appreciate.

 

The semblance of normality,

Is put on by all of us,

When the veil falls off,

Who is who, you never know.

 

This feeling made me miss opportunities,

I’ll never know,

Experience things,

You’d never know.

 

Somedays, I want this shell to break away,

And a new person to emerge,

Other days,  I would love to retreat back,

And stay the person you’ll never really know.

The Sun.

I was the sun to you.

Bright and glorious.

I gave you all my light,

So that you could shine.

I basked in the happiness of your presence.

But as you got closer,

You realized how scarred I was,

How in my mere presence,

You would burn out into extinction,

So you stepped back,

And kept stealing all my light,

Because you knew that I would never stop giving,

And the world wouldn’t stop taking.

 

Thus, the world stands alit today,

You can see to their inner cores.

But what is inside of me,

Still know one knows.

She Doesn’t Understand.

She doesn’t understand

Why when she walks down the street,

No boy looks at her.

 

She doesn’t understand,

Why her family gushes over how pretty she is,

Yet no one she likes,

Has ever said that to her.

 

She doesn’t understand,

Why her friends are so supportive,

Yet when she roams the hall with them,

She feels so alone.

 

She doesn’t understand,

What is it that is wrong in her,

That she can’t see,

But everyone else can.

 

She doesn’t understand,

Why she repels people,

Why she can’t say what’s on her mind,

Why she can’t be normal.

 

She doesn’t understand,

Why she can’t smile,

Or be humorous,

Or make small talk anymore.

 

She doesn’t understand,

Why the world can’t accept her,

When she tries so hard everyday.

 

She didn’t understand,

Why in sunlight and day,

Darkness and loneliness latched on.

 

She didn’t understand,

Why she couldn’t believe,

Why she couldn’t trust.

 

Only later did she understand,

When it was too late.

The mistake didn’t lie within her.

It was the world,

That never understood her at all.

Lost to Found

You have friends,

They are there for you through anything.

They find love,

You are happy for the joy it brings.

 

You see,

You tease.

They hear all that,

And are so pleased.

 

Then as time goes by,

And they talk about their someone,

You look into your life,

And realize you have no one.

 

It’s not that your jealous,

It’s not that it makes you hate them,

It just makes you wonder,

Will you ever fall in love ever again?

 

You have been hurt in the past,

But don’t want it to cast,

A shadow on your present,

Or make you resent.

 

As days go by, and you feel lonely,

You see them thrive, they look and feel alive.

You shrink into a corner of racing thoughts,

‘How do I get this feeling to blot?’

 

Just hold on,

I say to myself,

Stay strong,

Don’t bottle up your feelings, to keep on a shelf.

 

God has made souls in pairs,

Yours will be someone who you can bear,

Your spirit, your heart, your life to,

And he will definitely be someone,

Who will come out of the blue.

 

It may all seem dark,

You think of the what’s and the how’s of how to embark,

To reach the light at the end of the tunnel,

You need to filter your feelings through a funnel,

And focus on now.

 

Be a person so successful,

So compatible,

That when you do find him,

He’s there to bring you joy,

But not to complete you,

Because by then you would have become a person,

Known to only a few.

 

A person of confidence and integrity,

A self-made portrait, a solo pilot,

The direction of life in your hands,

Not afraid to stand alone and brave the winds,

Of what is to come and what is within.

 

Be the girl, who is perfect for him,

Be his peace, be his hymn,

Depicting pure light and tranquility.

You would be everything he ever wanted,

Encompassing why he ever doubted,

Every other girl who stayed,

Why you are the only one who serenaded,

His heart, his mind.

 

Why he was lost,

When his life felt like the Holocaust,

Until he was found,

And at once he knew, for life,

He was bound.

 

 

 

Stay Strong.

People who say things unintentionally are rude,

Those who say things intentionally are mean.

But those who do the latter repeatedly

Are what one would call a bully.

 

Bullies thrive on putting you down,

They devour the time they see you with a frown.

You may get hurt, that’s a given,

But remember one thing,

Such actions should never be forgiven.

 

Speak up, break the silence,

They have the audacity till the time you let them.

No one should have a good time at your expense,

You will have to say something in your defense.

 

It will be hard,

It will take courage,

But the thought of no one else having to go through this,

Should be motivation enough.

 

Bullies are insecure,

Their sick fantasies are not to be endured.

So stay strong, and fight back,

It need not be an attack

But do throw them off track.

 

Give them an answer they won’t expect,

That’s when you’ll get respect.

Violence is a sin,

But silence will let it win.

 

They can’t kill your dreams,

So they assassinate your character.

 

So keep that smile, and your chin up.

Don’t break down, break through.

Keep wearing your crown, that’s where it belongs.

At the end of the day, they are the clowns.