Before It Began.

I wait.

1 Hour,

2,3,4 Hours.

Our fourth date, You didn’t call.

 

I stopped by your house and now….

 

 

5,6,7 Days.

I don’t move.

8,9,10 weeks,

I don’t know what to do.

 

I see.

All the people,

Go about their life,

Doing their work.

As if life isn’t falling apart.

 

I feel.

Empty.

More void in me,

Than a black hole could ever contain.

More than anything else can retain.

I had developed feelings,

Thought we were falling in love.

Guess it was up to me to pick myself up,

Because you had fallen ,and now will never get up.

 

I want…

Who cares?

I wanted some happiness.

I had…

Some hope,

But now,

You lie dead,

I alive.

 

This love story,

Became unrequited before it could even begin.

 

A Dystopian Freak Show

We live in a world that gloats of democracy,

When in reality everyone truly thrives on hypocrisy.

 

Settling for mediocrity,

Is nothing new.

When one wants to step out of the boundaries,

They are shut up, with opinions that were never asked.

 

Too fat,

Too thin,

Look at your hair,

And that double chin.

 

Shouldn’t you be married by now?

What are you studying?

Why don’t you have a job?

There must be somethig wrong with her!

 

Mentally ill,

Whispered talks,

Physically ill,

What do we do doc?

 

You are never good enough,

When you are alive.

She was a beautiful soul,

They say when you die.

 

People just don’t stop talking,

Giving free advice to those who never asked.

People really don’t bother,

About what that person ends up doing in life.

 

Other’s success scares everyone,

Others failure enlightens everyone.

 

There’s nothing wrong with this world,

It’s just humans that need to be taught.

 

Moral science is treated like a joke,

Even to those teaching it.

Why should only inspirational speeches give you an insight?

Its like no one has any eyesight,

With what all that goes on in this world,

We need to be each others strength,

Not weakness.

Support, not a source of stress.

 

Working towards humanity,

Is much bigger than working towards a good snapchat,

Or Instagram,

Yet all I see is more dedication for that,

Then for anything else.

 

The kindness is dying,

It will not be abiding,

To these turbulent times,

And before you know it,

We will be what history books

Are trying to teach.

We will be what everyone warns while saying,

Don’t let the past repeat.

 

World War III used lightly,

But let me tell you something frankly,

There will come a day,

When human won’t fight against human,

There’s already too much of a rat race.

Cyber Bullying, School Shooting,

Places burning down to ash.

Bombings, Firings,

Everyone behind cash.

 

If you think something worse is yet to come,

Think again..

 

Good Girl.

We listen to what everyone says,

We don’t speak when not spoken to.

 

We top in the class,

Not giving ourself a break to celebrate.

 

We express very little,

Impress almost everyone.

 

When it comes to us,

Expectations are always met.

When other kids do bad,

We are the idealistic one presented.

 

Isn’t it good to be good?

What’s bad with that?

Smiling on the outside,

Bursting inside,

For once to let go,

To not care anymore.

 

You take her for granted,

Thinking she will always take you back..

 

We put on a play,

Where we are the actor,

Our parents the director,

The society, the audience.

 

We put on the best show,

Garner lots of applause,

But behind-the-scenes,

All you would see is disapproval.

 

Do one mistake,

And the whole world is ready,

To tear you down.

 

I may look fine,

I may seem okay,

But for once,

You have to agree,

Everyone needs a break…

 

 

 

 

 

Beautiful Tragic

Long walks in the dark,

Polaroids of your scars,

These were some of the crazy things,

Things that we used to be.

 

Zoo visits, midnight chats,

Laughing about all the cats

We would have in the future,

When there used to be Our future.

 

Holding hands in the market,

Flowers in my hair,

We were a walking fairytale,

And the world our avid audience.

 

We were the kind that Wattpad novels were written about,

Now when I look at you, all I see is doubt.

Somewhere along the line, we ceased to exist,

Our love just disappeared into the mist.

 

That day changed everything,

The day you eyes fell on Her.

I always knew I wasn’t the most beautiful girl you met.

Your presence is what made me feel so, I bet.

 

Those soft whisperings and small acknowledgements,

Has only led to resentment.

Why did you hold on, when you had to let go?

Why did you smile, when you knew it wasn’t going to last?

 

Our love affair was a kaleidoscope of colours,

I wish I knew black would come to become

The dominant one.

 

We were organised chaos,

We were what dreams were made of.

What we had was beautiful,

What we are is tragic.

I guess we will be known as something,

That was beautiful tragic.

 

 

La Douleur Exquise.

The day turned bright to dark,

Just as your mood turns from intrigued to stark.

 

Your silhouette dances in the bare walls of my heart,

Your presence staggering around, on the verge of falling.

Plummeting into a dark hole,

Never to return into my life again.

 

 

Love. What a delicate feeling.

How loosely used..

But whenever it was brought up,

You shied away,

I always tried to say,

It was one worth feeling,

You looked at me like I was too innocent,

To understand the profundity of it.

 

Why did you have to play?

Games in which I had no say?

Of course, I was a fool here,

To think that you loved me when you never said so.

 

I thought you had an intangible soul,

That you really had it somewhere in you.

The ability to love,

To cherish what you had.

To bequeath all the mistakes in your past,

To move on with me. Anew.

 

Guess I was wrong, I was naive.

I should have known how deep was this dive,

Only now I realize, how I almost survived.

 

How I could have been pulled into the darkness,

And could’ve got lost forever.

How could I have thought this was real,

Not some bet made on a whim.

 

I sit here, crying my eyes out,

For the guy who had someone,

She would have done anything for him.

 

For the guy who could have been loved,

Had he not took every step in this relationship with hate.

 

Unrequited love from the start,

Do you know why we were torn apart?

Not the circumstances, but unseen strings of unspoken words,

Are the one to blame.

 

I sit on the pavement,

Thinking how the death of this reprieved,

Only to be revived, and distorted,

With you now etched into my soul…

 

Forever is long time,

No one gets it,

But how shattered you have left me,

Makes this untimely event of life,

Seems like an eternity of suffering,

 

I see no silver lining,

I see no hope.

I keep sitting,

Until I have the tenacity to stand,

And I guess…Move on?

 

 

Move.

Hard work trumps talent, they say

Hard work is always rewarded, they say

But what happens when after all that,

You don’t win?

 

What if you did everything that you could,

Everything that you should,

To get at least a taste of success,

To do everything that you could to impress,

Those around you, and within you,

But it ends up a waste.

 

It takes skill,

To build on to something great.

It takes the will,

To keep pushing yourself.

But what if you gave all that you had,

And you got nothing back?

 

Do you still go ahead,

Or stay put.

Do you even want to get out of bed,

To do work that will get you nowhere?

 

The answer is YES.

Because no one has seen tomorrow,

No one knows what will happen.

 

Today you failed,

Tomorrow you may fail,

You may have to fall 100 times,

To get up the next.

 

Move.

That’s the key.

No matter the drops, no matter how hard you fall,

Keep moving towards what is your calling.

 

Life will reward you.

It may be saving you for something even better.

Be positive,

We have only one life to live.

Make the most out of it,.

 

Keep striving,

Even without achieving,

Keep running,

Even without winning.

Most importantly,

Keep moving,

Just keep improving.

 

 

I Just Knew.

Wedding Jitters,

My hands shaking.

I am not a quitter,

Today is the day I am never going to forget.

 

Still.

I get cold feet,

My hands all sweaty.

Will I be able to fulfil her expectations?

 

I stand here,

Shifting from one feet to another,

As the music starts playing.

God! Its time.

 

Everyone stands,

I take a step back.

Everyone turns,

I look down.

 

And then she enters,

And I hear gasps.

I look up, and there she is.

The only one that I have ever loved.

The only one who I will ever love.

 

Walking down the aisle,

Beaming, her face covered with her smile,

Looking like a dream before my eyes,

And I just knew..

 

Just knew,

How she makes me smile without trying,

How she knows me in and out,

How my agony subsides by her one touch,

I just knew.

I can never turn back from this woman,

My love, my life.

 

Later on, tarantism takes over,

And I sweep her onto the dance floor,

Her laughter, bliss to my ears.

It is these minutiae that I adore,

I treasure. That takes over me.

 

And makes me wonder,

Why did I even think twice?

This feeling surreal, but with her so real.

As dawn approaches, and lights dim down,

People filter out, we move, still afresh.

 

I just knew from the day I met her,

Things were never going to be the same.

And today, after what seems like an eternity,

Life truly never has been and never will be….

The Night Is Still Young.

You and me,

Under the sky.

You and me,

Sitting here, a bit shy.

 

Our first date,

It was in our fate,

To meet each other.

 

When we met,

It was an instant click,

How we just knew,

This was the forever kind.

 

It was an epiphany,

Just how much I had missed till now.

This relationship, though in its infancy,

Makes me ready to take a vow.

 

Is it possible?

To fall so hard.

Is she my infatuation?

But she feels like salvation.

 

A lifeboat, saving me from drowning.

A tree, hiding me from heat.

Her laugh, a melody,

I could listen to it on repeat.

 

Lord, this is love.

I can feel it in my bones.

This girl, what a sight!

I’m no more on my own.

 

True Love lives on forever,

We are still young.

This is just the start,

But I don’t want to leave you,

Not now, not ever.

 

This is just the beginning,

The night is still young.

I can’t wait to see what more is to come,

Of this beatific feeling.

 

I look up at the stars,

And see them for the first time,

I look down at your face,

And I see that beautiful shine.

 

I strung the music,

You strung my heart.

This night should never end.

I thank the stars for it

That the night is still young.

Heartbeat.

I held you in my hands,

You were crying.

I didn’t know what to do,

So held you tightly.

 

I had been waiting so long for this day,

This moment ephemeral,

So raw, so real

I have never been so happy before today.

 

You look into my eyes, and the crying stops,

I see a smile peeking out of that mouth.

I hear a giggle,

The sound so mellifluous.

 

Your glow under the fluorescent,

You are iridescent,

And then it begins,

The downfall.

 

I feel your pulse go down,

I see you gain a frown.

I look up to the doctor,

I don’t know what to do.

 

He takes you from me,

I look up to away,

My love, on the brink of tears.

 

Silence deafening,

My heartbeat quickening,

But yours a bit questioning.

 

And then it dies down,

And I’m blown,

To pieces,

To see this fetus,

No more in this world.

 

We knew this would happen,

But we still hoped,

That the heartbeat would beat,

Would repeat,

But it didn’t.

And we knew it wouldn’t.

 

I hold her tight,

I don’t want to fight,

I see them taking you away,

But bringing in a hurricane.

 

There is no life,

In me.

No joy,

To see.

I sit still,

Hearing Her Heartbeat,

Knowing this will just have to be enough.

How I Used To Be

Am I alive,

Or just dreaming?

Will I survive,

By just breathing?

 

I’m at a standstill,

As the world goes by.

I feel stuck,

I can’t even cry.

 

I’ve become numb,

This melancholia never fading.

I am insensate,

So long been paying,

For things I’ve never done,

For things I’ll never do.

 

I don’t want to be empty,

Like a tree in autumn,

I don’t want to take on,

Mistakes via heartaches.

 

An air of despondency,

Surrounds me nowadays.

The frequency,

Of torment has left me with nothing to say.

 

I sit a while,

Alone with my thoughts,

Gathering myself,

No one to do that for me anymore.

 

I feel like crying,

While everyone laughs,

I feel like dying,

When I see photographs,

Of how I used to be.

 

That girl, wouldn’t recognise me now.

That girl wouldn’t believe who I have become now.

Hope she sees what is coming, and is more careful,

Her future self would be happy if she didn’t turn up like her,

The present self has some happy days left.

 

Live while you can,

Don’t make plans,

It never goes according to it.

 

Life happens,

When it has to.

Whatever may be,

I will never be whole again,

I will never be who I used to be.